Last night, I did the unthinkable, me and a couple good friends of mine saw 50 Shades of Grey. Prior to seeing the film, I was about 70% done with the book but in this case, I wasn't eager to finish it when the movie came out. I had been in a few debates about this movie based on other blogs, reviews, and opinions. I didn't want to say a whole lot before I actually saw the movie, but simply that it's all it was (hoping not to be proved wrong). Well, I can say with full confidence, I was not.
A lot of the opinions I heard were ignorant (oops). I heard people say it promotes "abusive relationships", that it is even directly related to sex trafficking, even going as far as saying that it's like stalking, and even rape...all arguments demonstrate pure ignorance.
I can also say that 100% of the people I talked to, had not read the book because they were just -if not more- opinionated about it when it was just a book. Which, is actually annoying to me. Based upon articles and here-say of those who still had not read the book, I saw several posts about how this book/movie are no good by people who had not actually read it.
The movie made it a point to show the relationship between Anastasia and Christian was totally and completely consensual. Christan Grey talked on some home life issues he had, being the foundation of why he found certain sexual activities arousing. Everyone has something in their past that dictated future actions.
Anastasia was an average English-Literature major in college, a virgin to things other than just sex and like a lot of girls -no matter how old they are- she felt an attraction and thus something within her desired him and desired to please him...(human nature?).
Married or unmarried, people cannot say they don't remember that one guy who you know you ought to, but could not stay away from. We are only human.
To say this movie will influence abusive relationships and it will do psychological damage, is I'm afraid, far from the truth. Sorry not sorry. The movie does a great job of showing that Christian had a lifestyle to fit his needs and help him recover from his childhood but was not willing to verbalize it (HELLO! MEN!). Anastasia was different than Christan's previous relationships. He made compromises for her, even in the movie and book he says "it is you who is changing me".
This is NO different than a man who has commitment issues-- this book took a known idea and just upped the ante a little bit to illustrate an actual issue in some people's ideas of a relationship, or the lack thereof. Aside from being a known and respected businessman, yes, he has a room with whips and hand cuffs, but within the contract that he has her sign (all about her CONSENT), there are signs of discomfort like yellow and red in which tells him that she wants certain activities to stop. Everything he did was to bring Ana into his world and see how she felt about it, due to having no prior experience and NOTHING is forced upon her.
The graphic content of the movie just shows the generation we live in and the time, something a lot of other people forget as well. If you're uncomfortable with nakedness in a movie, at this point I would not suggest seeing it. There are also a lot of other movies that have far more nudity than this movie...
Probably the most ridiculous argument I can think of about this entire nonsense is that by seeing this movie I "condone" what is going on and I "support abusive relationships", or even that this is going to change society as a whole..seriously?
Let's look at The Hunger Games, I seriously doubt that this society is going to be divided up into districts and all the sudden we start killing each other.
ALL I am trying to say, is if you disagree, that's fine. My total point, is that you can just choose not to watch it. Posting about how people shouldn't see it for their health? And to avoid heartbreak in the future? I feel like it's totally dramatic and blown out of proportion.
There's an uproar now but it's going to end and everyone is going to forget-- girls are not going to get into abusive relationships on purpose, guys aren't going to start "stalking" girls to gain their affection, and it is definitely not going to change society and how they view love.
This is documented, I will happily be proven wrong, and people can tell me "I told you so" if in fact this changes society.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Sitting in Disbelief
This blog post is somewhat of a journal entry, often times I want to post Facebook status' about what is on my mind but then I realize I shouldn't have to summarize, I want to let it all out.
Going back to elementary school, I was not one of the "popular" kids. I don't even remember what separated us into cliques being so young but I just remember sort of being an acquaintance of everyone. I liked playing kick ball and basketball but my actual friends were sort of the outcasts...
In all of that, certain groups of people would, "let" me hang out with them and play outdoor sports. It being so long ago, I cannot go into detail, however the one thing that stuck to me the most was being called ugly. I remember sitting at lunch and boys telling me I probably broke every mirror in my house. Even so, to this day, I don't like to rattle cages that need not be rattled, but it started to get to me. I went to talk to my teacher and I remember her telling me that when little boys call little girls ugly, it means they have a crush on them. Even as a 7 year-old in elementary school, this wasn't good enough but I was done talking to anyone else. I decided I was strong enough to face it on my own.
As puberty hit, I started seeing the early signs of acne. In fact, I wouldn't even credit puberty, as I remember being 8 years old and getting my first zit on my chin. As I reached age 10, I had patches of it on my cheeks and by the time I was 12, I had what looked like an infection across my entire face.
Elementary school ended, as did our residence in South East Boise and even with a different school, came the same struggles. Now, I've always been a firm believer in consistencies, such as when a person who continues to have the same issues with different people, it is probably the fault of the person. Adding to that, I cannot say what I did, because I do not know. My theory is that it was so easy to see that I was trying to hard to avoid rejection that it actually caused rejection.
The goal I had to wait for my first kiss, was changed after I got my first kiss as a 13 year-old and had my first boyfriend at age 15 but in between all of that, what started as thinking I'd never be good enough to even kiss, turned into selling myself short to make up for all the words that were said to me.
What's amazing to me is that I still remember what those boys said to me in the Trail Wind Elementary school, it just tells me that I will definitely not forget the things that were said to me in High School and even in college.
I'm happy to say that in 136 days I will be sprinting down the aisle in white to the love of my life. Something I never, ever thought would happen. I think back to my 11 year old mentality, that I'd be better off becoming a nun than raising my own hopes that someone could actually call me beautiful let alone marry me.
It's not easy to say to ignore what people say about you, so this goes out to those who don't think they should keep what they think to themselves. I am someone who can tell the actual effects of peoples' opinions of me. Whether it was how I looked or the choices I made. I believe it is too much to ask someone to just ignore what people say, but a lot easier to ask people to think about what they say. I doubt those little boys knew I'd remember their words to me as a 21 year old (literally 13 years later) but it effected me for so long and it lead to other choices.
Don't be a bully. NO matter how much you disagree, telling someone they're ugly may go with them for the rest of their lives and change the way they look at their own selves in the mirror.
Going back to elementary school, I was not one of the "popular" kids. I don't even remember what separated us into cliques being so young but I just remember sort of being an acquaintance of everyone. I liked playing kick ball and basketball but my actual friends were sort of the outcasts...
In all of that, certain groups of people would, "let" me hang out with them and play outdoor sports. It being so long ago, I cannot go into detail, however the one thing that stuck to me the most was being called ugly. I remember sitting at lunch and boys telling me I probably broke every mirror in my house. Even so, to this day, I don't like to rattle cages that need not be rattled, but it started to get to me. I went to talk to my teacher and I remember her telling me that when little boys call little girls ugly, it means they have a crush on them. Even as a 7 year-old in elementary school, this wasn't good enough but I was done talking to anyone else. I decided I was strong enough to face it on my own.
As puberty hit, I started seeing the early signs of acne. In fact, I wouldn't even credit puberty, as I remember being 8 years old and getting my first zit on my chin. As I reached age 10, I had patches of it on my cheeks and by the time I was 12, I had what looked like an infection across my entire face.
Elementary school ended, as did our residence in South East Boise and even with a different school, came the same struggles. Now, I've always been a firm believer in consistencies, such as when a person who continues to have the same issues with different people, it is probably the fault of the person. Adding to that, I cannot say what I did, because I do not know. My theory is that it was so easy to see that I was trying to hard to avoid rejection that it actually caused rejection.
The goal I had to wait for my first kiss, was changed after I got my first kiss as a 13 year-old and had my first boyfriend at age 15 but in between all of that, what started as thinking I'd never be good enough to even kiss, turned into selling myself short to make up for all the words that were said to me.
What's amazing to me is that I still remember what those boys said to me in the Trail Wind Elementary school, it just tells me that I will definitely not forget the things that were said to me in High School and even in college.
I'm happy to say that in 136 days I will be sprinting down the aisle in white to the love of my life. Something I never, ever thought would happen. I think back to my 11 year old mentality, that I'd be better off becoming a nun than raising my own hopes that someone could actually call me beautiful let alone marry me.
It's not easy to say to ignore what people say about you, so this goes out to those who don't think they should keep what they think to themselves. I am someone who can tell the actual effects of peoples' opinions of me. Whether it was how I looked or the choices I made. I believe it is too much to ask someone to just ignore what people say, but a lot easier to ask people to think about what they say. I doubt those little boys knew I'd remember their words to me as a 21 year old (literally 13 years later) but it effected me for so long and it lead to other choices.
Don't be a bully. NO matter how much you disagree, telling someone they're ugly may go with them for the rest of their lives and change the way they look at their own selves in the mirror.
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