Blessed!

It never stops amazing me how far that I have come in the last few years. I have been to college, had several different jobs, been broke, been wealthy, nearly homeless, and at some points, down right depressed. 
When I was a little kid even, I had a general idea what it was like to be successful, but even in my little mind, I wouldn't be the one working for it.
I was born to a teenage Mom, she loved me SO MUCH and I was majorly spoiled by her, my dad, grandparents, etc. So when I thought of success, I honestly intended on marrying rich and being able to shop all day, drive nice cars, and have nice clothes was my idea of success. That was until I learned how to work hard for nice things.
When I was in college, the aid I received financially was grants and loans, my parents paid my phone bill but that was pretty much it. I am not complaining, I literally moved out to learn how to be an adult. I wanted to struggle in order to learn how to get out of it. Little did I know, what was in store...
When the first school year ended, I was so in love with Coeur d'Alene (and my parents lived in California) that I was determined to stay, I just couldn't live in the dorms anymore.
I lived with a married couple and I  got a job in Spokane and spent the majority of the summer saving to go to Boise for one of my best friends' wedding. I was probably under 100 pounds because I couldn't feed myself very well being so broke, I barely went out or did anything in fear of not being able to get home or pay bills when I got home from the wedding. All I did was wake up, work, then come home and sleep.
I needed to pay a $200 dorm deposit for the next semester, $200 in rent, AND pay for a 14 hour car ride for the wedding in the month of July. I sold my TV, every DVD I owned, some clothes, literally anything I could sell, I was selling to ensure I was paying my roommates, I was able to move into the dorms, and I could support myself after the wedding. It sucked! I actually trained my body to sleep for hours at a time so that I could just sleep instead of worrying about things like eating...
I lived in the dorms another year, and it happened again, I wanted to stay. I was able to get a job at a call center and move in with some friends of mine. Now, this is when I started having all sorts of fun! I was working 5am-11:30am and really just having a blast. I wasn't rich by any means, but I was getting by...
That was until I lost my job again. 
I made the decision to move back to Boise and start a job at another call center. I was sleeping on my Dad's best friends couch and trying to catch up. He was good enough to take me in while I saved for my own place. When Dillon's dad went on a 3 month long vacation, we were able to move in there. Still, not a place to call our own...
I had got in trouble for trying to shoplift some razor heads at Walmart. Stupid, I know. It was a mixture of bad judgement and pride. It wasn't a big deal, I did what I had to do, but it became an issue when I was finally caught up and I quit my current job to take an opportunity elsewhere...when they found out about my crime, the retracted their offer and I was left once again...jobless.
I had to go 2 months without working again, every interview was a rejection because of the petty theft so Dillon had to bear the weight of our finances for a little while. That was until I got an amazing job at Applebee's that I love so much!

Almost a year later, Dillon and I are just 2 months from our dream wedding, living in our own home, and sometimes I look around at all of our nice things and just smile. I fully understand that material possessions don't make people happy, or they shouldn't but I still cannot help but let that be a reflection of the ruts I pulled myself out of. Now I have a full attitude of gratitude when I would have otherwise taken these blessings for granted. I thank God for letting me struggle because then I wouldn't be thankful for all of the things we were able to get OURSELVES because of our hard work. I am now 100% dependent from my parents and I feel good knowing that I created my own success, rather than leaning on someone else's...