Restaurant Etiquette

Having been a server for 9 months now, I have taken note of some things that are extremely annoying in my line of work. My intention is to bring those who do not know these things behind the scenes rather than rant about my peeves -- though that may be what it turns into. Understand my intentions, because before I entered the restaurant industry, I did not know these things either...

Things are not instant. When you ask your server for extra dressing, they cannot always just run back and get it. Even though you may not be being charged for it, we still have to account for it somehow. At Applebee's, we can only get ranch dressing on our own and that's not even all the time. We need to ring in other dressings, wait for someone to pour it, THEN it goes out to you. Same goes for food. You came to a restaurant to eat food cooked by someone else, it is going to take time. I had someone the other day wave their hands at my while I was at another table saying "BREAD!?" Um, yes. When it is ready, it will be out? Pretty obvious.

The Server is Not the Cook. Though this should be a given, people don't understand this. "Um, this was suppose to be cooked Medium, I was very clear when I said Medium." Okay, great. We are more than happy to ask the cook to fix it for you and the cook is more than happy to fix it for you. Don't look at the server as though it is their fault and be rude to them because of it.
Also, when things take longer to cook than they should, do you REALLY think that the cook is back their laughing their butts off saying sucks to be them, I am taking my sweet time today! NO. 

Standards. Something that I don't think a lot of people understand is that when things go wrong, it is NEVER I repeat, NEVER on purpose. The cooks have standards, they can't take their sweet time and they wouldn't. What on earth would they have to gain by that? That's right. Nothing. I guarantee if you were to ask why it is taking so long, the server would apologize profusely and try their best to get it out. 
Servers generally have to greet someone within a minute and we can get in a lot of trouble if we don't meet that standard, if it takes a while for someone to get to you, there's probably a reason for it. Don't ruin your time, or the servers time because you're impatient.
I was working a shift one time and a server had to be sent home in the middle of a rush because she was sick and a brand new server was not aware of the new floor chart (manager's fault) and a table sat there for 20 minutes before I took them over in a totally far away section. I greeted them and took care of them and they weren't rude throughout the experience. I was apologetic and I fixed it and they were so grateful and we had a good time. The WORLD would be a better place if everyone understood that bad stuff happens and now it is being fixed with full intentions!

Hypocrites. Sometimes, there is NO pleasing you people. As a server, I have a battle within my own mind when it comes to food. Either fix it by making you a brand new meal and it might take a little longer or speed. If something were to come out wrong and it wasn't what you ordered, all your friends are eating around you while you wait, yeah you poor thing. But would you rather us just go scrape the tomatoes off your pasta and act like we did something for the sake of speed, or make you a whole new pasta? Irregardless of the fact that it "should have came out right the first time" which would you rather have? 
Either you're mad because it is taking forever, or you are mad that someone just tried to fix it with haste...it is so stupid.
Another point I want to make is how lame it is when you're the biggest jerk to your server and they don't respond to you in a nice way. Do you UNDERSTAND how hard that is? Don't be an ass then turn around and say "Wow, my sever had a bad attitude." Really? Just because I am serving you doesn't mean I am going to let you walk all over me. I will gladly give up a good tip because I refuse to be your doormat.

You Are Not the Only One in the Restaurant. I can't believe I actually have to say this, the funny part is that this goes out to elderly people more than anything. If you have a server that is any good, let me just start there, chances are that he/she has a lot of tables. One that needs a new beer, another that needs water refills, another that needs a ranch re-fill, someone is just sitting down, and another is ready to order. Which is all totally doable for someone with experience. If you want to throw everything off by assuming you're the only one who needs something, you have issues as it is. If you want a meal to be all about you, then stay at home.
Also, don't wave your hands at your server while they are at another table. I could seriously punch someone for doing this. IT IS SO RUDE!
Don't even get me started on those of you who want to complain about the temperature of the restaurant...

The Work Continues... When you leave, we have to clean up after you. Yes, it is part of the job, I am not complaining. If you bring 4 kids into a restaurant-- they have broccoli ripped apart all over the place. Rice scattered everywhere...oh boy. I refuse to be one of those jerks who says that parents shouldn't bring their kids into a restaurant, that isn't fair. I come from a big family and we rarely went out to eat at a restaurant. I will say that "sorry for the mess" doesn't go very far. APOLOGIZE WITH YOUR TIP. In the state of Idaho, we make $3.35 an hour. Applebee's does not pay me enough to clean up after your table for 20 minutes. I can't leave it either. So if you come in a restaurant, leave a big mess, and a nice tip. It isn't a big deal. But on a personal level, when I have 5 other tables and a hurricane went through yours. Chances are I am going to have to neglect them a little bit and potentially lower my tip. We would get in trouble if we don't clean the place up, so make it worth while. Coming from a family of 7, never being able to eat out, I can guarantee that my parents left a big enough tip to make up for everything. Once again, I will not say that you shouldn't take your kids out every once in a while, or all the time. I am saying that if you can't afford to thank the person for not only putting up with your kids, but cleaning up after them, you shouldn't be going out.

Some Have to Settle. Throughout this blog, you may be thinking that I should get a "real job". I'll tell you why that offends me in a second, but I will also tell you that it isn't that easy...I have a misdemeanor on my record and a lot of the cooks I work with have felonies, in fact I worked with someone who was literally in prison and came to work every day. I went two months without working and this job was my saving grace because not only did not they not run a background check but they don't care. Some people have to literally settle for this type of work because they made mistakes. Even though the sky is the limit as far as how much money you can make, some people make a mistake early on in their life and are STILL paying for it. They may hate their job as a cook or a server, but they stay because it is paying their bills.

Tip SOMETHING. I understand, being a consumer, and someone who eats out A LOT that sometimes you get bad service, I am not ignorant to this. I have witnessed other people get bad service and I respond with a dropped jaw. There is a reason for everything, just like I have to tell myself not to take things personally because everyone has things going in their life, you have to understand that your server does too...
Leave them a note, not a rude one, but a constructive one. Don't take advantage of this, but if the server never comes back to your table, leave a tip saying hey, we didn't tip you because we didn't see you...
On a totally unrelated note. We have these STUPID computer things on the tables. Just yesterday, someone ordered everything on the computer and I brought them water and checked on them as often as I was suppose to... $0.87 tip on a $30 ticket...
People came in and ordered their food with me, I delivered water, they paid before they got their food and left me $1 tip! Well needless to say, I did not visit that table again. I am working to make a living, if you wanted to pay before you ate and not tip...you should have gone through the drive-thru. 

No, You Don't Know Everything For those of you that cannot wrap your head around the fact that there are methods to things and we are not out to just make life harder...you need to get out of your own self.
Someone complained to me that we sat people according to what is "convenient" for the servers. I got so mad. Seriously? Sure, we will sit you in a section that a server isn't present if that's what you want. Then next thing you know, you'll be complaining that your drink isn't refilled or that your server is no where to be found, well, probably because you insisted on being served across the restaurant from her/his section and he/she has 8 tables in their ACTUAL section who are going to get better service because they are close by. We have a rotation for a reason and not all servers are on at the same time, but you didn't know that did you?

Don't Complain About Things That Cannot Be Fixed. DUH! Holy crap. Do not complain to your server that the restaurant that employs them doesn't have Splenda, or more than one type of steak sauce, we don't have a certain channel, or that we got rid of your precious cheeseburger sliders. Shut up, please. As servers we are what most call a Pee-On! Our opinion does not matter. You may vent about how more restaurants need to have Splenda, and I will kindly fake agree with you but don't burden your server with things that are out of their control by actually being rude to them because of it. If you don't like Pepsi products, don't complain to your server (who clearly chose that as the product, right?) order water or Google restaurants that serve Coca-Cola! Say something funny about how you don't like Pepsi but don't be a jerk because of it. So pointless and it just makes everyone have a crappy time once you bring tension to the table.
Recently, Applebee's changed the serving sizes of the Spinach Dip and someone complained about it. "It used to be a lot bigger" and I responded with that they changed the sizes and she said "but they still charge the same" and mine was "well the cool thing about the 2 for $25 is that it practically makes it free". SHE CALLED AND COMPLAINED ABOUT ME TO MY MANAGER. No, I did not apologize because it wasn't my fault. Not only that, but I saved them at least $10 by even suggesting the 2 for $25 because they split a check. It ended up being $12.50 per person instead of $17 but all that went unnoticed because I didn't say "sorry they changed the size" Even though the bowl is .5in smaller and chip refills are free...goodness.

Get a "real job" There is a special karma headed your way my friend, if this is how you think. You don't think serving is a real job? I come home every night with aching feet, a headache, sore calves, and a hurting back. I have dreams that give me anxiety because of people who refused to be grateful for me bending over backwards for them...
I think everyone should be a server at one point in their life, then maybe they would be a little more respectful. I will tell you something, I have never served a fellow server who wasn't completely understanding. If everyone was understanding and just chose to take a chill pill, then maybe you could say to get a real job. Pleasing the un-pleasable, being walked all over, being in constant pain, and blamed for things that cannot be fixed. 


I hope I haven't overwhelmed you, I am to my last point. If you go anywhere that a service is being provided to you, remember WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN. I am not using this as an excuse. I bust my booty every day to make people happy, but you have to get that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has issues going on, and we live in an imperfect world. Getting a day off or calling in sick is not always, in fact, it is NEVER an option in the restaurant industry...someone may have just lost a relative yesterday or they got in a fight with their spouse causing them to feel crappy all day. I worked for 2 weeks sicker than a dog and at one point I had worked every day for 30 days between two jobs. Sometimes I just didn't want to be a fake, happy robot.
Just keep these things in mind when you eat out. I don't think this will change the world or anything, but my intention was to make you aware of things that I personally did not know about until becoming a server.