I am constantly at a crossroad between keeping my mouth quiet to avoid conflict and being able to post freely. I have a lot of Facebook friends who share things I disagree with, things that offend me, and things that bother me, and yet I keep myself from commenting to avoid issues. It doesn't feel the same about my own posts, however, and I know when I post something, essentially I am "asking for it", but why should I have to be quiet? Why can others share their opinions in -sometimes- degrading ways, yet I cannot share mine in a positive way? Well, I decided that I am tired of feeling like I need to stay silent.
My husband hates when I get involved in debates or discussions and I know a lot of people don't take part in them and choose to stay by the wayside or off of Facebook completely, which is fine as well.
I have chosen to finally publish a finished blog, which I have been attempting to do for some months now. If you didn't notice, it has been a while since I posted to this blog.
I promise to be respectful.
I promise to be peaceful in debates as they arise.
I promise to be open-minded.
I promise to be kind.
I promise to use credible sources to back up my opinions.
However, I will not promise to avoid posting/sharing things I agree with and I will not promise to keep my mouth shut about issues I deem important. As the only attempt to not lose friends over disagreements, I am keeping long explanations strictly for this blog, giving my friends the choice to read or not to read and will only participate in discussions so long as the person comments agrees to keep it cordial.
Furthermore, I will not tolerate name calling, degrading speech, rudeness, or intolerance toward my views. I am an American and have first amendment rights just as those opposing me do when they share things that I disagree with or even things that offend me. I personally enjoy a good debate so long as the other person is willing to contribute without it getting heated.
If you've witnessed me posting anything that is contrary to the above promises, it stops now.
I believe wholeheartedly that we are all equal in this Land of the Free and Home of the Brave and will exercise that right going forward.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
"Love Wins"
I often find myself battling the urge to express my feelings on controversial topics. Then my news feed on Facebook is clogged with these topics and I almost feel obligated to express how I feel. When I say "I feel", it is totally based on my personality AND my belief system...
You can stop reading...
No really...
Still here?
Okay.
"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31
God put a priority on two commandments, though the others are definitely important, He wants us to love HIM and then love our neighbors (ahem, that's to love everyone else AS WELL AS GOD).
I will agree that Christians have shown a lack in love lately, especially toward LGBT, however, I will also say that I see an extreme lack of love coming from those who are not followers of Christ. Bare with me here...
The motive for that love is different, but ultimately we are talking about the same thing: LOVE heart emoticoIave been observing posts and reading a lot about this uproar and I cannot help but see hypocrisy coming from BOTH SIDES.
I will agree that Christians have shown a lack in love lately, especially toward LGBT, however, I will also say that I see an extreme lack of love coming from those who are not followers of Christ. Bare with me here...
The motive for that love is different, but ultimately we are talking about the same thing: LOVE heart emoticoIave been observing posts and reading a lot about this uproar and I cannot help but see hypocrisy coming from BOTH SIDES.
Am I right or am I wrong?
Really?
My point is this: No one has to debate love or sides because no matter what motivates it, we have an end result in common and that is LOVE.
I apologize on behalf of Christians who choose to hate, but we are not all that way. It is great to see those who disagree with Christians understand that we still love you and it is great to see other Christians not being hateful. I remember in high school, I had a friend whose gay, I will never forget what he said to me: "Elora, you're awesome. I know you're a Christian and your beliefs say being gay is wrong but I'd never know because you're nice to me."
See? I didn't have to give up my beliefs and he didn't feel I was judging him. LOVE WON!
We should be joining together and fighting against those who want to hate, attempting to call them to love, without a religion or sexual orientation label. We are people who want to love and be loved in return. My motivation comes from Jesus Christ who died on the cross and who loves me even though I don't deserve it. Other's motivation comes from whatever they choose...the list goes on, I'm sure.
It hurts my feelings as a Christian to see atheists hate on my religion, especially when what they say is ignorant when it comes to the Bible. That isn't fair, they're asking us not to hate, that "love wins", and not to be a hypocrite, yet their whole message of "LOVE WINS" is contradicted by slandering Christians...Instead of finding the flaws in the opposing opinions, we should lock arms with what we have in common and that is LOVE <3
What I would like to see is us joining together and promoting love, whether we have a bible in our hands, or our partner's...NO H8!
What do you say?
Sunday, May 10, 2015
At Least...
If you haven't noticed by now, my blogs are motivated by life experiences and I really hate ranting on Facebook. I think Facebook posts are meant to be short and sweet -- by the way, that's just my opinion about my Facebook posts, not everyone's...ranting is definitely okay but I don't like to do it.
ANYWAY
I had written this same point in my previous blog but since it has been a year since I wrote it, I thought it'd be appropriate to rekindle it with my new self.
I cannot pin point it to one event that caused me to start thinking this way, but I can tell you that it has been amazing since I have shifted my mindset from negative to positive...or from pessimist to optimist.
I chose to write about this again because I have been catching myself totally taking for granted having a job and an income. Whenever I work a 6 day streak or am getting ready for work, I check out with my bad attitude and I even so much as despise getting ready -- not just because my work uniform is hideous. Whenever I have these thoughts that I don't want to go to work, something in my brain instantly says "HOW DARE YOU!?" and I remember what it was like to have no job and completely unable to pay bills, take out payday loans, call for extensions on late bills, etc.
Even though paying bills is a pain in the neck, we have to realize what it is like to not be able to pay bills.
What I am encouraging here is a total transition of the way you think. I will, of course, not say that I am perfect and sometimes my mood just wants to be negative. However, I will say that since I have chosen the phrase "AT LEAST" to follow any negative thought, it has changed everything.
By saying or thinking those two simple words it almost forces you to look at the bright side and it actually helps your mood and attitude.
"I just got paid and have to pay bills...AT LEAST I can pay my bills."
I dread paying out $700 a month to have a place to live but dang, I have a place to live...everything has an upside. EVERYTHING, no exceptions.
I don't think a lot of people understand the toll that a negative attitude can take on someone who refuses to look on the bright side.
I will not say that this is an overnight transition, not too long ago, I was what some considered a "Negative Nancy" but now it is an actual habit to say "at least.." followed by the bright side.
This sometimes annoys people, I have found that when I express my positive energy to people, they almost hate me for not giving in. They will say "this is my 5th day in a row working", what they want is sympathy, what I give them, is an "at least you're making money."
I HATE giving sympathy to people who ask for it, in fact, it;s a decent sized pet peeve of mine...instead of getting upset about it, I exchanged it for a positive response. Take it or leave it.
Please understand my intentions. I am not claiming to be superior because of this, but rather I am trying to encourage you to seek out the bright side in any situation, simply by saying "at least..." in your head following ANY negative thought. You'll be surprised what affect it will have on your entire outlook on situations in this crazy life!
ANYWAY
I had written this same point in my previous blog but since it has been a year since I wrote it, I thought it'd be appropriate to rekindle it with my new self.
I cannot pin point it to one event that caused me to start thinking this way, but I can tell you that it has been amazing since I have shifted my mindset from negative to positive...or from pessimist to optimist.
I chose to write about this again because I have been catching myself totally taking for granted having a job and an income. Whenever I work a 6 day streak or am getting ready for work, I check out with my bad attitude and I even so much as despise getting ready -- not just because my work uniform is hideous. Whenever I have these thoughts that I don't want to go to work, something in my brain instantly says "HOW DARE YOU!?" and I remember what it was like to have no job and completely unable to pay bills, take out payday loans, call for extensions on late bills, etc.
Even though paying bills is a pain in the neck, we have to realize what it is like to not be able to pay bills.
What I am encouraging here is a total transition of the way you think. I will, of course, not say that I am perfect and sometimes my mood just wants to be negative. However, I will say that since I have chosen the phrase "AT LEAST" to follow any negative thought, it has changed everything.
By saying or thinking those two simple words it almost forces you to look at the bright side and it actually helps your mood and attitude.
"I just got paid and have to pay bills...AT LEAST I can pay my bills."
I dread paying out $700 a month to have a place to live but dang, I have a place to live...everything has an upside. EVERYTHING, no exceptions.
I don't think a lot of people understand the toll that a negative attitude can take on someone who refuses to look on the bright side.
I will not say that this is an overnight transition, not too long ago, I was what some considered a "Negative Nancy" but now it is an actual habit to say "at least.." followed by the bright side.
This sometimes annoys people, I have found that when I express my positive energy to people, they almost hate me for not giving in. They will say "this is my 5th day in a row working", what they want is sympathy, what I give them, is an "at least you're making money."
I HATE giving sympathy to people who ask for it, in fact, it;s a decent sized pet peeve of mine...instead of getting upset about it, I exchanged it for a positive response. Take it or leave it.
Please understand my intentions. I am not claiming to be superior because of this, but rather I am trying to encourage you to seek out the bright side in any situation, simply by saying "at least..." in your head following ANY negative thought. You'll be surprised what affect it will have on your entire outlook on situations in this crazy life!
Friday, April 24, 2015
Restaurant Etiquette
Having been a server for 9 months now, I have taken note of some things that are extremely annoying in my line of work. My intention is to bring those who do not know these things behind the scenes rather than rant about my peeves -- though that may be what it turns into. Understand my intentions, because before I entered the restaurant industry, I did not know these things either...
Things are not instant. When you ask your server for extra dressing, they cannot always just run back and get it. Even though you may not be being charged for it, we still have to account for it somehow. At Applebee's, we can only get ranch dressing on our own and that's not even all the time. We need to ring in other dressings, wait for someone to pour it, THEN it goes out to you. Same goes for food. You came to a restaurant to eat food cooked by someone else, it is going to take time. I had someone the other day wave their hands at my while I was at another table saying "BREAD!?" Um, yes. When it is ready, it will be out? Pretty obvious.
The Server is Not the Cook. Though this should be a given, people don't understand this. "Um, this was suppose to be cooked Medium, I was very clear when I said Medium." Okay, great. We are more than happy to ask the cook to fix it for you and the cook is more than happy to fix it for you. Don't look at the server as though it is their fault and be rude to them because of it.
Also, when things take longer to cook than they should, do you REALLY think that the cook is back their laughing their butts off saying sucks to be them, I am taking my sweet time today! NO.
Standards. Something that I don't think a lot of people understand is that when things go wrong, it is NEVER I repeat, NEVER on purpose. The cooks have standards, they can't take their sweet time and they wouldn't. What on earth would they have to gain by that? That's right. Nothing. I guarantee if you were to ask why it is taking so long, the server would apologize profusely and try their best to get it out.
Servers generally have to greet someone within a minute and we can get in a lot of trouble if we don't meet that standard, if it takes a while for someone to get to you, there's probably a reason for it. Don't ruin your time, or the servers time because you're impatient.
I was working a shift one time and a server had to be sent home in the middle of a rush because she was sick and a brand new server was not aware of the new floor chart (manager's fault) and a table sat there for 20 minutes before I took them over in a totally far away section. I greeted them and took care of them and they weren't rude throughout the experience. I was apologetic and I fixed it and they were so grateful and we had a good time. The WORLD would be a better place if everyone understood that bad stuff happens and now it is being fixed with full intentions!
Hypocrites. Sometimes, there is NO pleasing you people. As a server, I have a battle within my own mind when it comes to food. Either fix it by making you a brand new meal and it might take a little longer or speed. If something were to come out wrong and it wasn't what you ordered, all your friends are eating around you while you wait, yeah you poor thing. But would you rather us just go scrape the tomatoes off your pasta and act like we did something for the sake of speed, or make you a whole new pasta? Irregardless of the fact that it "should have came out right the first time" which would you rather have?
Either you're mad because it is taking forever, or you are mad that someone just tried to fix it with haste...it is so stupid.
Another point I want to make is how lame it is when you're the biggest jerk to your server and they don't respond to you in a nice way. Do you UNDERSTAND how hard that is? Don't be an ass then turn around and say "Wow, my sever had a bad attitude." Really? Just because I am serving you doesn't mean I am going to let you walk all over me. I will gladly give up a good tip because I refuse to be your doormat.
You Are Not the Only One in the Restaurant. I can't believe I actually have to say this, the funny part is that this goes out to elderly people more than anything. If you have a server that is any good, let me just start there, chances are that he/she has a lot of tables. One that needs a new beer, another that needs water refills, another that needs a ranch re-fill, someone is just sitting down, and another is ready to order. Which is all totally doable for someone with experience. If you want to throw everything off by assuming you're the only one who needs something, you have issues as it is. If you want a meal to be all about you, then stay at home.
Also, don't wave your hands at your server while they are at another table. I could seriously punch someone for doing this. IT IS SO RUDE!
Don't even get me started on those of you who want to complain about the temperature of the restaurant...
The Work Continues... When you leave, we have to clean up after you. Yes, it is part of the job, I am not complaining. If you bring 4 kids into a restaurant-- they have broccoli ripped apart all over the place. Rice scattered everywhere...oh boy. I refuse to be one of those jerks who says that parents shouldn't bring their kids into a restaurant, that isn't fair. I come from a big family and we rarely went out to eat at a restaurant. I will say that "sorry for the mess" doesn't go very far. APOLOGIZE WITH YOUR TIP. In the state of Idaho, we make $3.35 an hour. Applebee's does not pay me enough to clean up after your table for 20 minutes. I can't leave it either. So if you come in a restaurant, leave a big mess, and a nice tip. It isn't a big deal. But on a personal level, when I have 5 other tables and a hurricane went through yours. Chances are I am going to have to neglect them a little bit and potentially lower my tip. We would get in trouble if we don't clean the place up, so make it worth while. Coming from a family of 7, never being able to eat out, I can guarantee that my parents left a big enough tip to make up for everything. Once again, I will not say that you shouldn't take your kids out every once in a while, or all the time. I am saying that if you can't afford to thank the person for not only putting up with your kids, but cleaning up after them, you shouldn't be going out.
Some Have to Settle. Throughout this blog, you may be thinking that I should get a "real job". I'll tell you why that offends me in a second, but I will also tell you that it isn't that easy...I have a misdemeanor on my record and a lot of the cooks I work with have felonies, in fact I worked with someone who was literally in prison and came to work every day. I went two months without working and this job was my saving grace because not only did not they not run a background check but they don't care. Some people have to literally settle for this type of work because they made mistakes. Even though the sky is the limit as far as how much money you can make, some people make a mistake early on in their life and are STILL paying for it. They may hate their job as a cook or a server, but they stay because it is paying their bills.
Tip SOMETHING. I understand, being a consumer, and someone who eats out A LOT that sometimes you get bad service, I am not ignorant to this. I have witnessed other people get bad service and I respond with a dropped jaw. There is a reason for everything, just like I have to tell myself not to take things personally because everyone has things going in their life, you have to understand that your server does too...
Leave them a note, not a rude one, but a constructive one. Don't take advantage of this, but if the server never comes back to your table, leave a tip saying hey, we didn't tip you because we didn't see you...
On a totally unrelated note. We have these STUPID computer things on the tables. Just yesterday, someone ordered everything on the computer and I brought them water and checked on them as often as I was suppose to... $0.87 tip on a $30 ticket...
People came in and ordered their food with me, I delivered water, they paid before they got their food and left me $1 tip! Well needless to say, I did not visit that table again. I am working to make a living, if you wanted to pay before you ate and not tip...you should have gone through the drive-thru.
No, You Don't Know Everything For those of you that cannot wrap your head around the fact that there are methods to things and we are not out to just make life harder...you need to get out of your own self.
Someone complained to me that we sat people according to what is "convenient" for the servers. I got so mad. Seriously? Sure, we will sit you in a section that a server isn't present if that's what you want. Then next thing you know, you'll be complaining that your drink isn't refilled or that your server is no where to be found, well, probably because you insisted on being served across the restaurant from her/his section and he/she has 8 tables in their ACTUAL section who are going to get better service because they are close by. We have a rotation for a reason and not all servers are on at the same time, but you didn't know that did you?
Don't Complain About Things That Cannot Be Fixed. DUH! Holy crap. Do not complain to your server that the restaurant that employs them doesn't have Splenda, or more than one type of steak sauce, we don't have a certain channel, or that we got rid of your precious cheeseburger sliders. Shut up, please. As servers we are what most call a Pee-On! Our opinion does not matter. You may vent about how more restaurants need to have Splenda, and I will kindly fake agree with you but don't burden your server with things that are out of their control by actually being rude to them because of it. If you don't like Pepsi products, don't complain to your server (who clearly chose that as the product, right?) order water or Google restaurants that serve Coca-Cola! Say something funny about how you don't like Pepsi but don't be a jerk because of it. So pointless and it just makes everyone have a crappy time once you bring tension to the table.
Recently, Applebee's changed the serving sizes of the Spinach Dip and someone complained about it. "It used to be a lot bigger" and I responded with that they changed the sizes and she said "but they still charge the same" and mine was "well the cool thing about the 2 for $25 is that it practically makes it free". SHE CALLED AND COMPLAINED ABOUT ME TO MY MANAGER. No, I did not apologize because it wasn't my fault. Not only that, but I saved them at least $10 by even suggesting the 2 for $25 because they split a check. It ended up being $12.50 per person instead of $17 but all that went unnoticed because I didn't say "sorry they changed the size" Even though the bowl is .5in smaller and chip refills are free...goodness.
Get a "real job" There is a special karma headed your way my friend, if this is how you think. You don't think serving is a real job? I come home every night with aching feet, a headache, sore calves, and a hurting back. I have dreams that give me anxiety because of people who refused to be grateful for me bending over backwards for them...
I think everyone should be a server at one point in their life, then maybe they would be a little more respectful. I will tell you something, I have never served a fellow server who wasn't completely understanding. If everyone was understanding and just chose to take a chill pill, then maybe you could say to get a real job. Pleasing the un-pleasable, being walked all over, being in constant pain, and blamed for things that cannot be fixed.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you, I am to my last point. If you go anywhere that a service is being provided to you, remember WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN. I am not using this as an excuse. I bust my booty every day to make people happy, but you have to get that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has issues going on, and we live in an imperfect world. Getting a day off or calling in sick is not always, in fact, it is NEVER an option in the restaurant industry...someone may have just lost a relative yesterday or they got in a fight with their spouse causing them to feel crappy all day. I worked for 2 weeks sicker than a dog and at one point I had worked every day for 30 days between two jobs. Sometimes I just didn't want to be a fake, happy robot.
Just keep these things in mind when you eat out. I don't think this will change the world or anything, but my intention was to make you aware of things that I personally did not know about until becoming a server.
Things are not instant. When you ask your server for extra dressing, they cannot always just run back and get it. Even though you may not be being charged for it, we still have to account for it somehow. At Applebee's, we can only get ranch dressing on our own and that's not even all the time. We need to ring in other dressings, wait for someone to pour it, THEN it goes out to you. Same goes for food. You came to a restaurant to eat food cooked by someone else, it is going to take time. I had someone the other day wave their hands at my while I was at another table saying "BREAD!?" Um, yes. When it is ready, it will be out? Pretty obvious.
The Server is Not the Cook. Though this should be a given, people don't understand this. "Um, this was suppose to be cooked Medium, I was very clear when I said Medium." Okay, great. We are more than happy to ask the cook to fix it for you and the cook is more than happy to fix it for you. Don't look at the server as though it is their fault and be rude to them because of it.
Also, when things take longer to cook than they should, do you REALLY think that the cook is back their laughing their butts off saying sucks to be them, I am taking my sweet time today! NO.
Standards. Something that I don't think a lot of people understand is that when things go wrong, it is NEVER I repeat, NEVER on purpose. The cooks have standards, they can't take their sweet time and they wouldn't. What on earth would they have to gain by that? That's right. Nothing. I guarantee if you were to ask why it is taking so long, the server would apologize profusely and try their best to get it out.
Servers generally have to greet someone within a minute and we can get in a lot of trouble if we don't meet that standard, if it takes a while for someone to get to you, there's probably a reason for it. Don't ruin your time, or the servers time because you're impatient.
I was working a shift one time and a server had to be sent home in the middle of a rush because she was sick and a brand new server was not aware of the new floor chart (manager's fault) and a table sat there for 20 minutes before I took them over in a totally far away section. I greeted them and took care of them and they weren't rude throughout the experience. I was apologetic and I fixed it and they were so grateful and we had a good time. The WORLD would be a better place if everyone understood that bad stuff happens and now it is being fixed with full intentions!
Hypocrites. Sometimes, there is NO pleasing you people. As a server, I have a battle within my own mind when it comes to food. Either fix it by making you a brand new meal and it might take a little longer or speed. If something were to come out wrong and it wasn't what you ordered, all your friends are eating around you while you wait, yeah you poor thing. But would you rather us just go scrape the tomatoes off your pasta and act like we did something for the sake of speed, or make you a whole new pasta? Irregardless of the fact that it "should have came out right the first time" which would you rather have?
Either you're mad because it is taking forever, or you are mad that someone just tried to fix it with haste...it is so stupid.
Another point I want to make is how lame it is when you're the biggest jerk to your server and they don't respond to you in a nice way. Do you UNDERSTAND how hard that is? Don't be an ass then turn around and say "Wow, my sever had a bad attitude." Really? Just because I am serving you doesn't mean I am going to let you walk all over me. I will gladly give up a good tip because I refuse to be your doormat.
You Are Not the Only One in the Restaurant. I can't believe I actually have to say this, the funny part is that this goes out to elderly people more than anything. If you have a server that is any good, let me just start there, chances are that he/she has a lot of tables. One that needs a new beer, another that needs water refills, another that needs a ranch re-fill, someone is just sitting down, and another is ready to order. Which is all totally doable for someone with experience. If you want to throw everything off by assuming you're the only one who needs something, you have issues as it is. If you want a meal to be all about you, then stay at home.
Also, don't wave your hands at your server while they are at another table. I could seriously punch someone for doing this. IT IS SO RUDE!
Don't even get me started on those of you who want to complain about the temperature of the restaurant...
The Work Continues... When you leave, we have to clean up after you. Yes, it is part of the job, I am not complaining. If you bring 4 kids into a restaurant-- they have broccoli ripped apart all over the place. Rice scattered everywhere...oh boy. I refuse to be one of those jerks who says that parents shouldn't bring their kids into a restaurant, that isn't fair. I come from a big family and we rarely went out to eat at a restaurant. I will say that "sorry for the mess" doesn't go very far. APOLOGIZE WITH YOUR TIP. In the state of Idaho, we make $3.35 an hour. Applebee's does not pay me enough to clean up after your table for 20 minutes. I can't leave it either. So if you come in a restaurant, leave a big mess, and a nice tip. It isn't a big deal. But on a personal level, when I have 5 other tables and a hurricane went through yours. Chances are I am going to have to neglect them a little bit and potentially lower my tip. We would get in trouble if we don't clean the place up, so make it worth while. Coming from a family of 7, never being able to eat out, I can guarantee that my parents left a big enough tip to make up for everything. Once again, I will not say that you shouldn't take your kids out every once in a while, or all the time. I am saying that if you can't afford to thank the person for not only putting up with your kids, but cleaning up after them, you shouldn't be going out.
Some Have to Settle. Throughout this blog, you may be thinking that I should get a "real job". I'll tell you why that offends me in a second, but I will also tell you that it isn't that easy...I have a misdemeanor on my record and a lot of the cooks I work with have felonies, in fact I worked with someone who was literally in prison and came to work every day. I went two months without working and this job was my saving grace because not only did not they not run a background check but they don't care. Some people have to literally settle for this type of work because they made mistakes. Even though the sky is the limit as far as how much money you can make, some people make a mistake early on in their life and are STILL paying for it. They may hate their job as a cook or a server, but they stay because it is paying their bills.
Tip SOMETHING. I understand, being a consumer, and someone who eats out A LOT that sometimes you get bad service, I am not ignorant to this. I have witnessed other people get bad service and I respond with a dropped jaw. There is a reason for everything, just like I have to tell myself not to take things personally because everyone has things going in their life, you have to understand that your server does too...
Leave them a note, not a rude one, but a constructive one. Don't take advantage of this, but if the server never comes back to your table, leave a tip saying hey, we didn't tip you because we didn't see you...
On a totally unrelated note. We have these STUPID computer things on the tables. Just yesterday, someone ordered everything on the computer and I brought them water and checked on them as often as I was suppose to... $0.87 tip on a $30 ticket...
People came in and ordered their food with me, I delivered water, they paid before they got their food and left me $1 tip! Well needless to say, I did not visit that table again. I am working to make a living, if you wanted to pay before you ate and not tip...you should have gone through the drive-thru.
No, You Don't Know Everything For those of you that cannot wrap your head around the fact that there are methods to things and we are not out to just make life harder...you need to get out of your own self.
Someone complained to me that we sat people according to what is "convenient" for the servers. I got so mad. Seriously? Sure, we will sit you in a section that a server isn't present if that's what you want. Then next thing you know, you'll be complaining that your drink isn't refilled or that your server is no where to be found, well, probably because you insisted on being served across the restaurant from her/his section and he/she has 8 tables in their ACTUAL section who are going to get better service because they are close by. We have a rotation for a reason and not all servers are on at the same time, but you didn't know that did you?
Don't Complain About Things That Cannot Be Fixed. DUH! Holy crap. Do not complain to your server that the restaurant that employs them doesn't have Splenda, or more than one type of steak sauce, we don't have a certain channel, or that we got rid of your precious cheeseburger sliders. Shut up, please. As servers we are what most call a Pee-On! Our opinion does not matter. You may vent about how more restaurants need to have Splenda, and I will kindly fake agree with you but don't burden your server with things that are out of their control by actually being rude to them because of it. If you don't like Pepsi products, don't complain to your server (who clearly chose that as the product, right?) order water or Google restaurants that serve Coca-Cola! Say something funny about how you don't like Pepsi but don't be a jerk because of it. So pointless and it just makes everyone have a crappy time once you bring tension to the table.
Recently, Applebee's changed the serving sizes of the Spinach Dip and someone complained about it. "It used to be a lot bigger" and I responded with that they changed the sizes and she said "but they still charge the same" and mine was "well the cool thing about the 2 for $25 is that it practically makes it free". SHE CALLED AND COMPLAINED ABOUT ME TO MY MANAGER. No, I did not apologize because it wasn't my fault. Not only that, but I saved them at least $10 by even suggesting the 2 for $25 because they split a check. It ended up being $12.50 per person instead of $17 but all that went unnoticed because I didn't say "sorry they changed the size" Even though the bowl is .5in smaller and chip refills are free...goodness.
Get a "real job" There is a special karma headed your way my friend, if this is how you think. You don't think serving is a real job? I come home every night with aching feet, a headache, sore calves, and a hurting back. I have dreams that give me anxiety because of people who refused to be grateful for me bending over backwards for them...
I think everyone should be a server at one point in their life, then maybe they would be a little more respectful. I will tell you something, I have never served a fellow server who wasn't completely understanding. If everyone was understanding and just chose to take a chill pill, then maybe you could say to get a real job. Pleasing the un-pleasable, being walked all over, being in constant pain, and blamed for things that cannot be fixed.
I hope I haven't overwhelmed you, I am to my last point. If you go anywhere that a service is being provided to you, remember WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN. I am not using this as an excuse. I bust my booty every day to make people happy, but you have to get that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has issues going on, and we live in an imperfect world. Getting a day off or calling in sick is not always, in fact, it is NEVER an option in the restaurant industry...someone may have just lost a relative yesterday or they got in a fight with their spouse causing them to feel crappy all day. I worked for 2 weeks sicker than a dog and at one point I had worked every day for 30 days between two jobs. Sometimes I just didn't want to be a fake, happy robot.
Just keep these things in mind when you eat out. I don't think this will change the world or anything, but my intention was to make you aware of things that I personally did not know about until becoming a server.
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Blessed!
It never stops amazing me how far that I have come in the last few years. I have been to college, had several different jobs, been broke, been wealthy, nearly homeless, and at some points, down right depressed.
When I was a little kid even, I had a general idea what it was like to be successful, but even in my little mind, I wouldn't be the one working for it.
I was born to a teenage Mom, she loved me SO MUCH and I was majorly spoiled by her, my dad, grandparents, etc. So when I thought of success, I honestly intended on marrying rich and being able to shop all day, drive nice cars, and have nice clothes was my idea of success. That was until I learned how to work hard for nice things.
When I was in college, the aid I received financially was grants and loans, my parents paid my phone bill but that was pretty much it. I am not complaining, I literally moved out to learn how to be an adult. I wanted to struggle in order to learn how to get out of it. Little did I know, what was in store...
When the first school year ended, I was so in love with Coeur d'Alene (and my parents lived in California) that I was determined to stay, I just couldn't live in the dorms anymore.
I lived with a married couple and I got a job in Spokane and spent the majority of the summer saving to go to Boise for one of my best friends' wedding. I was probably under 100 pounds because I couldn't feed myself very well being so broke, I barely went out or did anything in fear of not being able to get home or pay bills when I got home from the wedding. All I did was wake up, work, then come home and sleep.
I needed to pay a $200 dorm deposit for the next semester, $200 in rent, AND pay for a 14 hour car ride for the wedding in the month of July. I sold my TV, every DVD I owned, some clothes, literally anything I could sell, I was selling to ensure I was paying my roommates, I was able to move into the dorms, and I could support myself after the wedding. It sucked! I actually trained my body to sleep for hours at a time so that I could just sleep instead of worrying about things like eating...
I lived in the dorms another year, and it happened again, I wanted to stay. I was able to get a job at a call center and move in with some friends of mine. Now, this is when I started having all sorts of fun! I was working 5am-11:30am and really just having a blast. I wasn't rich by any means, but I was getting by...
That was until I lost my job again.
I made the decision to move back to Boise and start a job at another call center. I was sleeping on my Dad's best friends couch and trying to catch up. He was good enough to take me in while I saved for my own place. When Dillon's dad went on a 3 month long vacation, we were able to move in there. Still, not a place to call our own...
I had got in trouble for trying to shoplift some razor heads at Walmart. Stupid, I know. It was a mixture of bad judgement and pride. It wasn't a big deal, I did what I had to do, but it became an issue when I was finally caught up and I quit my current job to take an opportunity elsewhere...when they found out about my crime, the retracted their offer and I was left once again...jobless.
I had to go 2 months without working again, every interview was a rejection because of the petty theft so Dillon had to bear the weight of our finances for a little while. That was until I got an amazing job at Applebee's that I love so much!
Almost a year later, Dillon and I are just 2 months from our dream wedding, living in our own home, and sometimes I look around at all of our nice things and just smile. I fully understand that material possessions don't make people happy, or they shouldn't but I still cannot help but let that be a reflection of the ruts I pulled myself out of. Now I have a full attitude of gratitude when I would have otherwise taken these blessings for granted. I thank God for letting me struggle because then I wouldn't be thankful for all of the things we were able to get OURSELVES because of our hard work. I am now 100% dependent from my parents and I feel good knowing that I created my own success, rather than leaning on someone else's...
When I was a little kid even, I had a general idea what it was like to be successful, but even in my little mind, I wouldn't be the one working for it.
I was born to a teenage Mom, she loved me SO MUCH and I was majorly spoiled by her, my dad, grandparents, etc. So when I thought of success, I honestly intended on marrying rich and being able to shop all day, drive nice cars, and have nice clothes was my idea of success. That was until I learned how to work hard for nice things.
When I was in college, the aid I received financially was grants and loans, my parents paid my phone bill but that was pretty much it. I am not complaining, I literally moved out to learn how to be an adult. I wanted to struggle in order to learn how to get out of it. Little did I know, what was in store...
When the first school year ended, I was so in love with Coeur d'Alene (and my parents lived in California) that I was determined to stay, I just couldn't live in the dorms anymore.
I lived with a married couple and I got a job in Spokane and spent the majority of the summer saving to go to Boise for one of my best friends' wedding. I was probably under 100 pounds because I couldn't feed myself very well being so broke, I barely went out or did anything in fear of not being able to get home or pay bills when I got home from the wedding. All I did was wake up, work, then come home and sleep.
I needed to pay a $200 dorm deposit for the next semester, $200 in rent, AND pay for a 14 hour car ride for the wedding in the month of July. I sold my TV, every DVD I owned, some clothes, literally anything I could sell, I was selling to ensure I was paying my roommates, I was able to move into the dorms, and I could support myself after the wedding. It sucked! I actually trained my body to sleep for hours at a time so that I could just sleep instead of worrying about things like eating...
I lived in the dorms another year, and it happened again, I wanted to stay. I was able to get a job at a call center and move in with some friends of mine. Now, this is when I started having all sorts of fun! I was working 5am-11:30am and really just having a blast. I wasn't rich by any means, but I was getting by...
That was until I lost my job again.
I made the decision to move back to Boise and start a job at another call center. I was sleeping on my Dad's best friends couch and trying to catch up. He was good enough to take me in while I saved for my own place. When Dillon's dad went on a 3 month long vacation, we were able to move in there. Still, not a place to call our own...
I had got in trouble for trying to shoplift some razor heads at Walmart. Stupid, I know. It was a mixture of bad judgement and pride. It wasn't a big deal, I did what I had to do, but it became an issue when I was finally caught up and I quit my current job to take an opportunity elsewhere...when they found out about my crime, the retracted their offer and I was left once again...jobless.
I had to go 2 months without working again, every interview was a rejection because of the petty theft so Dillon had to bear the weight of our finances for a little while. That was until I got an amazing job at Applebee's that I love so much!
Almost a year later, Dillon and I are just 2 months from our dream wedding, living in our own home, and sometimes I look around at all of our nice things and just smile. I fully understand that material possessions don't make people happy, or they shouldn't but I still cannot help but let that be a reflection of the ruts I pulled myself out of. Now I have a full attitude of gratitude when I would have otherwise taken these blessings for granted. I thank God for letting me struggle because then I wouldn't be thankful for all of the things we were able to get OURSELVES because of our hard work. I am now 100% dependent from my parents and I feel good knowing that I created my own success, rather than leaning on someone else's...
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
April Fools
April 1st, as a kid it was fun to do something horrifically mean and then say "April Fools!" to keep from getting in trouble. I remember as a kid, telling everyone that my mother was having another baby, was a great joke because she already had 5 and she needed to just stop, and now, not only does every other person fake an engagement, but a pregnancy...
Over the last two years- as I have personally noticed- it has become known that it is offensive to fake a pregnancy. So first of all, OH MY GOODNESS. Now, maybe I am a jerk but I am a firm believer that people in this world literally TRY to be offended by certain things.
I have a friend who had a miscarriage and based on this ridiculous ordeal, I asked her if she would be hurt or offended if I posted a status about being pregnant, which turned out to be a joke...
Since I am engaged, it would actually be believable and she said no.
Honestly, I am on the fence. I am caught between thinking it is a over used April Fools joke and people should calm down. It does NOT provoke mockery to women who cannot conceive, in fact, on the contrary, my best friend made an excellent point...it isn't like it's a common thing to post status' about having an abortion.
"Had an abortion today...
APRIL FOOLS!"
I agree with her, that would be a mockery of pregnancy and fertility if someone openly said they got an abortion and willingly tainted a life that someone else could cherish...
You don't see me getting offended by people who pretended to be engaged because, well, I'm really engaged and I wouldn't want all the single people to feel low because someone chose to joke around.
Give me a break.
Oh, btw, I'm pregnant.
Thursday, February 19, 2015
50 Shades of Grey Review
Last night, I did the unthinkable, me and a couple good friends of mine saw 50 Shades of Grey. Prior to seeing the film, I was about 70% done with the book but in this case, I wasn't eager to finish it when the movie came out. I had been in a few debates about this movie based on other blogs, reviews, and opinions. I didn't want to say a whole lot before I actually saw the movie, but simply that it's all it was (hoping not to be proved wrong). Well, I can say with full confidence, I was not.
A lot of the opinions I heard were ignorant (oops). I heard people say it promotes "abusive relationships", that it is even directly related to sex trafficking, even going as far as saying that it's like stalking, and even rape...all arguments demonstrate pure ignorance.
I can also say that 100% of the people I talked to, had not read the book because they were just -if not more- opinionated about it when it was just a book. Which, is actually annoying to me. Based upon articles and here-say of those who still had not read the book, I saw several posts about how this book/movie are no good by people who had not actually read it.
The movie made it a point to show the relationship between Anastasia and Christian was totally and completely consensual. Christan Grey talked on some home life issues he had, being the foundation of why he found certain sexual activities arousing. Everyone has something in their past that dictated future actions.
Anastasia was an average English-Literature major in college, a virgin to things other than just sex and like a lot of girls -no matter how old they are- she felt an attraction and thus something within her desired him and desired to please him...(human nature?).
Married or unmarried, people cannot say they don't remember that one guy who you know you ought to, but could not stay away from. We are only human.
To say this movie will influence abusive relationships and it will do psychological damage, is I'm afraid, far from the truth. Sorry not sorry. The movie does a great job of showing that Christian had a lifestyle to fit his needs and help him recover from his childhood but was not willing to verbalize it (HELLO! MEN!). Anastasia was different than Christan's previous relationships. He made compromises for her, even in the movie and book he says "it is you who is changing me".
This is NO different than a man who has commitment issues-- this book took a known idea and just upped the ante a little bit to illustrate an actual issue in some people's ideas of a relationship, or the lack thereof. Aside from being a known and respected businessman, yes, he has a room with whips and hand cuffs, but within the contract that he has her sign (all about her CONSENT), there are signs of discomfort like yellow and red in which tells him that she wants certain activities to stop. Everything he did was to bring Ana into his world and see how she felt about it, due to having no prior experience and NOTHING is forced upon her.
The graphic content of the movie just shows the generation we live in and the time, something a lot of other people forget as well. If you're uncomfortable with nakedness in a movie, at this point I would not suggest seeing it. There are also a lot of other movies that have far more nudity than this movie...
Probably the most ridiculous argument I can think of about this entire nonsense is that by seeing this movie I "condone" what is going on and I "support abusive relationships", or even that this is going to change society as a whole..seriously?
Let's look at The Hunger Games, I seriously doubt that this society is going to be divided up into districts and all the sudden we start killing each other.
ALL I am trying to say, is if you disagree, that's fine. My total point, is that you can just choose not to watch it. Posting about how people shouldn't see it for their health? And to avoid heartbreak in the future? I feel like it's totally dramatic and blown out of proportion.
There's an uproar now but it's going to end and everyone is going to forget-- girls are not going to get into abusive relationships on purpose, guys aren't going to start "stalking" girls to gain their affection, and it is definitely not going to change society and how they view love.
This is documented, I will happily be proven wrong, and people can tell me "I told you so" if in fact this changes society.
A lot of the opinions I heard were ignorant (oops). I heard people say it promotes "abusive relationships", that it is even directly related to sex trafficking, even going as far as saying that it's like stalking, and even rape...all arguments demonstrate pure ignorance.
I can also say that 100% of the people I talked to, had not read the book because they were just -if not more- opinionated about it when it was just a book. Which, is actually annoying to me. Based upon articles and here-say of those who still had not read the book, I saw several posts about how this book/movie are no good by people who had not actually read it.
The movie made it a point to show the relationship between Anastasia and Christian was totally and completely consensual. Christan Grey talked on some home life issues he had, being the foundation of why he found certain sexual activities arousing. Everyone has something in their past that dictated future actions.
Anastasia was an average English-Literature major in college, a virgin to things other than just sex and like a lot of girls -no matter how old they are- she felt an attraction and thus something within her desired him and desired to please him...(human nature?).
Married or unmarried, people cannot say they don't remember that one guy who you know you ought to, but could not stay away from. We are only human.
To say this movie will influence abusive relationships and it will do psychological damage, is I'm afraid, far from the truth. Sorry not sorry. The movie does a great job of showing that Christian had a lifestyle to fit his needs and help him recover from his childhood but was not willing to verbalize it (HELLO! MEN!). Anastasia was different than Christan's previous relationships. He made compromises for her, even in the movie and book he says "it is you who is changing me".
This is NO different than a man who has commitment issues-- this book took a known idea and just upped the ante a little bit to illustrate an actual issue in some people's ideas of a relationship, or the lack thereof. Aside from being a known and respected businessman, yes, he has a room with whips and hand cuffs, but within the contract that he has her sign (all about her CONSENT), there are signs of discomfort like yellow and red in which tells him that she wants certain activities to stop. Everything he did was to bring Ana into his world and see how she felt about it, due to having no prior experience and NOTHING is forced upon her.
The graphic content of the movie just shows the generation we live in and the time, something a lot of other people forget as well. If you're uncomfortable with nakedness in a movie, at this point I would not suggest seeing it. There are also a lot of other movies that have far more nudity than this movie...
Probably the most ridiculous argument I can think of about this entire nonsense is that by seeing this movie I "condone" what is going on and I "support abusive relationships", or even that this is going to change society as a whole..seriously?
Let's look at The Hunger Games, I seriously doubt that this society is going to be divided up into districts and all the sudden we start killing each other.
ALL I am trying to say, is if you disagree, that's fine. My total point, is that you can just choose not to watch it. Posting about how people shouldn't see it for their health? And to avoid heartbreak in the future? I feel like it's totally dramatic and blown out of proportion.
There's an uproar now but it's going to end and everyone is going to forget-- girls are not going to get into abusive relationships on purpose, guys aren't going to start "stalking" girls to gain their affection, and it is definitely not going to change society and how they view love.
This is documented, I will happily be proven wrong, and people can tell me "I told you so" if in fact this changes society.
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