"Love Wins"

I often find myself battling the urge to express my feelings on controversial topics. Then my news feed on Facebook is clogged with these topics and I almost feel obligated to express how I feel. When I say "I feel", it is totally based on my personality AND my belief system...

You can stop reading...

No really...

Still here?

Okay.

"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31

God put a priority on two commandments, though the others are definitely important, He wants us to love HIM and then love our neighbors (ahem, that's to love everyone else AS WELL AS GOD).
I will agree that Christians have shown a lack in love lately, especially toward LGBT, however, I will also say that I see an extreme lack of love coming from those who are not followers of Christ. Bare with me here...

The motive for that love is different, but ultimately we are talking about the same thing: LOVE heart emoticoIave been observing posts and reading a lot about this uproar and I cannot help but see hypocrisy coming from BOTH SIDES.

Am I right or am I wrong?

Christians are called to LOVE, this is apparent to most. On the flip side of it, those who choose to not follow Christ are also preaching LOVE yet will slander and hate upon Christians, literally in the same sentence/tweet/blog/status...
Really?
My point is this: No one has to debate love or sides because no matter what motivates it, we have an end result in common and that is LOVE.

I apologize on behalf of Christians who choose to hate, but we are not all that way. It is great to see those who disagree with Christians understand that we still love you and it is great to see other Christians not being hateful. I remember in high school, I had a friend whose gay, I will never forget what he said to me: "Elora, you're awesome. I know you're a Christian and your beliefs say being gay is wrong but I'd never know because you're nice to me."

See? I didn't have to give up my beliefs and he didn't feel I was judging him. LOVE WON!

We should be joining together and fighting against those who want to hate, attempting to call them to love, without a religion or sexual orientation label. We are people who want to love and be loved in return. My motivation comes from Jesus Christ who died on the cross and who loves me even though I don't deserve it. Other's motivation comes from whatever they choose...the list goes on, I'm sure.

It hurts my feelings as a Christian to see atheists hate on my religion, especially when what they say is ignorant when it comes to the Bible. That isn't fair, they're asking us not to hate, that "love wins", and not to be a hypocrite, yet their whole message of "LOVE WINS" is contradicted by slandering Christians...
Instead of finding the flaws in the opposing opinions, we should lock arms with what we have in common and that is LOVE <3
What I would like to see is us joining together and promoting love, whether we have a bible in our hands, or our partner's...NO H8!

What do you say?

At Least...

If you haven't noticed by now, my blogs are motivated by life experiences and I really hate ranting on Facebook. I think Facebook posts are meant to be short and sweet -- by the way, that's just my opinion about my Facebook posts, not everyone's...ranting is definitely okay but I don't like to do it.

ANYWAY
I had written this same point in my previous blog but since it has been a year since I wrote it, I thought it'd be appropriate to rekindle it with my new self.
I cannot pin point it to one event that caused me to start thinking this way, but I can tell you that it has been amazing since I have shifted my mindset from negative to positive...or from pessimist to optimist.
I chose to write about this again because I have been catching myself totally taking for granted having a job and an income. Whenever I work a 6 day streak or am getting ready for work, I check out with my bad attitude and I even so much as despise getting ready -- not just because my work uniform is hideous. Whenever I have these thoughts that I don't want to go to work, something in my brain instantly says "HOW DARE YOU!?" and I remember what it was like to have no job and completely unable to pay bills, take out payday loans, call for extensions on late bills, etc.
Even though paying bills is a pain in the neck, we have to realize what it is like to not be able to pay bills.
What I am encouraging here is a total transition of the way you think. I will, of course, not say that I am perfect and sometimes my mood just wants to be negative. However, I will say that since I have chosen the phrase "AT LEAST" to follow any negative thought, it has changed everything.
By saying or thinking those two simple words it almost forces you to look at the bright side and it actually helps your mood and attitude.
"I just got paid and have to pay bills...AT LEAST I can pay my bills."
I dread paying out $700 a month to have a place to live but dang, I have a place to live...everything has an upside. EVERYTHING, no exceptions.
I don't think a lot of people understand the toll that a negative attitude can take on someone who refuses to look on the bright side.

I will not say that this is an overnight transition, not too long ago, I was what some considered a "Negative Nancy" but now it is an actual habit to say "at least.." followed by the bright side.
This sometimes annoys people, I have found that when I express my positive energy to people, they almost hate me for not giving in. They will say "this is my 5th day in a row working", what they want is sympathy, what I give them, is an "at least you're making money."
I HATE giving sympathy to people who ask for it, in fact, it;s a decent sized pet peeve of mine...instead of getting upset about it, I exchanged it for a positive response. Take it or leave it.


Please understand my intentions. I am not claiming to be superior because of this, but rather I am trying to encourage you to seek out the bright side in any situation, simply by saying "at least..." in your head following ANY negative thought. You'll be surprised what affect it will have on your entire outlook on situations in this crazy life!

Restaurant Etiquette

Having been a server for 9 months now, I have taken note of some things that are extremely annoying in my line of work. My intention is to bring those who do not know these things behind the scenes rather than rant about my peeves -- though that may be what it turns into. Understand my intentions, because before I entered the restaurant industry, I did not know these things either...

Things are not instant. When you ask your server for extra dressing, they cannot always just run back and get it. Even though you may not be being charged for it, we still have to account for it somehow. At Applebee's, we can only get ranch dressing on our own and that's not even all the time. We need to ring in other dressings, wait for someone to pour it, THEN it goes out to you. Same goes for food. You came to a restaurant to eat food cooked by someone else, it is going to take time. I had someone the other day wave their hands at my while I was at another table saying "BREAD!?" Um, yes. When it is ready, it will be out? Pretty obvious.

The Server is Not the Cook. Though this should be a given, people don't understand this. "Um, this was suppose to be cooked Medium, I was very clear when I said Medium." Okay, great. We are more than happy to ask the cook to fix it for you and the cook is more than happy to fix it for you. Don't look at the server as though it is their fault and be rude to them because of it.
Also, when things take longer to cook than they should, do you REALLY think that the cook is back their laughing their butts off saying sucks to be them, I am taking my sweet time today! NO. 

Standards. Something that I don't think a lot of people understand is that when things go wrong, it is NEVER I repeat, NEVER on purpose. The cooks have standards, they can't take their sweet time and they wouldn't. What on earth would they have to gain by that? That's right. Nothing. I guarantee if you were to ask why it is taking so long, the server would apologize profusely and try their best to get it out. 
Servers generally have to greet someone within a minute and we can get in a lot of trouble if we don't meet that standard, if it takes a while for someone to get to you, there's probably a reason for it. Don't ruin your time, or the servers time because you're impatient.
I was working a shift one time and a server had to be sent home in the middle of a rush because she was sick and a brand new server was not aware of the new floor chart (manager's fault) and a table sat there for 20 minutes before I took them over in a totally far away section. I greeted them and took care of them and they weren't rude throughout the experience. I was apologetic and I fixed it and they were so grateful and we had a good time. The WORLD would be a better place if everyone understood that bad stuff happens and now it is being fixed with full intentions!

Hypocrites. Sometimes, there is NO pleasing you people. As a server, I have a battle within my own mind when it comes to food. Either fix it by making you a brand new meal and it might take a little longer or speed. If something were to come out wrong and it wasn't what you ordered, all your friends are eating around you while you wait, yeah you poor thing. But would you rather us just go scrape the tomatoes off your pasta and act like we did something for the sake of speed, or make you a whole new pasta? Irregardless of the fact that it "should have came out right the first time" which would you rather have? 
Either you're mad because it is taking forever, or you are mad that someone just tried to fix it with haste...it is so stupid.
Another point I want to make is how lame it is when you're the biggest jerk to your server and they don't respond to you in a nice way. Do you UNDERSTAND how hard that is? Don't be an ass then turn around and say "Wow, my sever had a bad attitude." Really? Just because I am serving you doesn't mean I am going to let you walk all over me. I will gladly give up a good tip because I refuse to be your doormat.

You Are Not the Only One in the Restaurant. I can't believe I actually have to say this, the funny part is that this goes out to elderly people more than anything. If you have a server that is any good, let me just start there, chances are that he/she has a lot of tables. One that needs a new beer, another that needs water refills, another that needs a ranch re-fill, someone is just sitting down, and another is ready to order. Which is all totally doable for someone with experience. If you want to throw everything off by assuming you're the only one who needs something, you have issues as it is. If you want a meal to be all about you, then stay at home.
Also, don't wave your hands at your server while they are at another table. I could seriously punch someone for doing this. IT IS SO RUDE!
Don't even get me started on those of you who want to complain about the temperature of the restaurant...

The Work Continues... When you leave, we have to clean up after you. Yes, it is part of the job, I am not complaining. If you bring 4 kids into a restaurant-- they have broccoli ripped apart all over the place. Rice scattered everywhere...oh boy. I refuse to be one of those jerks who says that parents shouldn't bring their kids into a restaurant, that isn't fair. I come from a big family and we rarely went out to eat at a restaurant. I will say that "sorry for the mess" doesn't go very far. APOLOGIZE WITH YOUR TIP. In the state of Idaho, we make $3.35 an hour. Applebee's does not pay me enough to clean up after your table for 20 minutes. I can't leave it either. So if you come in a restaurant, leave a big mess, and a nice tip. It isn't a big deal. But on a personal level, when I have 5 other tables and a hurricane went through yours. Chances are I am going to have to neglect them a little bit and potentially lower my tip. We would get in trouble if we don't clean the place up, so make it worth while. Coming from a family of 7, never being able to eat out, I can guarantee that my parents left a big enough tip to make up for everything. Once again, I will not say that you shouldn't take your kids out every once in a while, or all the time. I am saying that if you can't afford to thank the person for not only putting up with your kids, but cleaning up after them, you shouldn't be going out.

Some Have to Settle. Throughout this blog, you may be thinking that I should get a "real job". I'll tell you why that offends me in a second, but I will also tell you that it isn't that easy...I have a misdemeanor on my record and a lot of the cooks I work with have felonies, in fact I worked with someone who was literally in prison and came to work every day. I went two months without working and this job was my saving grace because not only did not they not run a background check but they don't care. Some people have to literally settle for this type of work because they made mistakes. Even though the sky is the limit as far as how much money you can make, some people make a mistake early on in their life and are STILL paying for it. They may hate their job as a cook or a server, but they stay because it is paying their bills.

Tip SOMETHING. I understand, being a consumer, and someone who eats out A LOT that sometimes you get bad service, I am not ignorant to this. I have witnessed other people get bad service and I respond with a dropped jaw. There is a reason for everything, just like I have to tell myself not to take things personally because everyone has things going in their life, you have to understand that your server does too...
Leave them a note, not a rude one, but a constructive one. Don't take advantage of this, but if the server never comes back to your table, leave a tip saying hey, we didn't tip you because we didn't see you...
On a totally unrelated note. We have these STUPID computer things on the tables. Just yesterday, someone ordered everything on the computer and I brought them water and checked on them as often as I was suppose to... $0.87 tip on a $30 ticket...
People came in and ordered their food with me, I delivered water, they paid before they got their food and left me $1 tip! Well needless to say, I did not visit that table again. I am working to make a living, if you wanted to pay before you ate and not tip...you should have gone through the drive-thru. 

No, You Don't Know Everything For those of you that cannot wrap your head around the fact that there are methods to things and we are not out to just make life harder...you need to get out of your own self.
Someone complained to me that we sat people according to what is "convenient" for the servers. I got so mad. Seriously? Sure, we will sit you in a section that a server isn't present if that's what you want. Then next thing you know, you'll be complaining that your drink isn't refilled or that your server is no where to be found, well, probably because you insisted on being served across the restaurant from her/his section and he/she has 8 tables in their ACTUAL section who are going to get better service because they are close by. We have a rotation for a reason and not all servers are on at the same time, but you didn't know that did you?

Don't Complain About Things That Cannot Be Fixed. DUH! Holy crap. Do not complain to your server that the restaurant that employs them doesn't have Splenda, or more than one type of steak sauce, we don't have a certain channel, or that we got rid of your precious cheeseburger sliders. Shut up, please. As servers we are what most call a Pee-On! Our opinion does not matter. You may vent about how more restaurants need to have Splenda, and I will kindly fake agree with you but don't burden your server with things that are out of their control by actually being rude to them because of it. If you don't like Pepsi products, don't complain to your server (who clearly chose that as the product, right?) order water or Google restaurants that serve Coca-Cola! Say something funny about how you don't like Pepsi but don't be a jerk because of it. So pointless and it just makes everyone have a crappy time once you bring tension to the table.
Recently, Applebee's changed the serving sizes of the Spinach Dip and someone complained about it. "It used to be a lot bigger" and I responded with that they changed the sizes and she said "but they still charge the same" and mine was "well the cool thing about the 2 for $25 is that it practically makes it free". SHE CALLED AND COMPLAINED ABOUT ME TO MY MANAGER. No, I did not apologize because it wasn't my fault. Not only that, but I saved them at least $10 by even suggesting the 2 for $25 because they split a check. It ended up being $12.50 per person instead of $17 but all that went unnoticed because I didn't say "sorry they changed the size" Even though the bowl is .5in smaller and chip refills are free...goodness.

Get a "real job" There is a special karma headed your way my friend, if this is how you think. You don't think serving is a real job? I come home every night with aching feet, a headache, sore calves, and a hurting back. I have dreams that give me anxiety because of people who refused to be grateful for me bending over backwards for them...
I think everyone should be a server at one point in their life, then maybe they would be a little more respectful. I will tell you something, I have never served a fellow server who wasn't completely understanding. If everyone was understanding and just chose to take a chill pill, then maybe you could say to get a real job. Pleasing the un-pleasable, being walked all over, being in constant pain, and blamed for things that cannot be fixed. 


I hope I haven't overwhelmed you, I am to my last point. If you go anywhere that a service is being provided to you, remember WE ARE ALL ONLY HUMAN. I am not using this as an excuse. I bust my booty every day to make people happy, but you have to get that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has issues going on, and we live in an imperfect world. Getting a day off or calling in sick is not always, in fact, it is NEVER an option in the restaurant industry...someone may have just lost a relative yesterday or they got in a fight with their spouse causing them to feel crappy all day. I worked for 2 weeks sicker than a dog and at one point I had worked every day for 30 days between two jobs. Sometimes I just didn't want to be a fake, happy robot.
Just keep these things in mind when you eat out. I don't think this will change the world or anything, but my intention was to make you aware of things that I personally did not know about until becoming a server.

Blessed!

It never stops amazing me how far that I have come in the last few years. I have been to college, had several different jobs, been broke, been wealthy, nearly homeless, and at some points, down right depressed. 
When I was a little kid even, I had a general idea what it was like to be successful, but even in my little mind, I wouldn't be the one working for it.
I was born to a teenage Mom, she loved me SO MUCH and I was majorly spoiled by her, my dad, grandparents, etc. So when I thought of success, I honestly intended on marrying rich and being able to shop all day, drive nice cars, and have nice clothes was my idea of success. That was until I learned how to work hard for nice things.
When I was in college, the aid I received financially was grants and loans, my parents paid my phone bill but that was pretty much it. I am not complaining, I literally moved out to learn how to be an adult. I wanted to struggle in order to learn how to get out of it. Little did I know, what was in store...
When the first school year ended, I was so in love with Coeur d'Alene (and my parents lived in California) that I was determined to stay, I just couldn't live in the dorms anymore.
I lived with a married couple and I  got a job in Spokane and spent the majority of the summer saving to go to Boise for one of my best friends' wedding. I was probably under 100 pounds because I couldn't feed myself very well being so broke, I barely went out or did anything in fear of not being able to get home or pay bills when I got home from the wedding. All I did was wake up, work, then come home and sleep.
I needed to pay a $200 dorm deposit for the next semester, $200 in rent, AND pay for a 14 hour car ride for the wedding in the month of July. I sold my TV, every DVD I owned, some clothes, literally anything I could sell, I was selling to ensure I was paying my roommates, I was able to move into the dorms, and I could support myself after the wedding. It sucked! I actually trained my body to sleep for hours at a time so that I could just sleep instead of worrying about things like eating...
I lived in the dorms another year, and it happened again, I wanted to stay. I was able to get a job at a call center and move in with some friends of mine. Now, this is when I started having all sorts of fun! I was working 5am-11:30am and really just having a blast. I wasn't rich by any means, but I was getting by...
That was until I lost my job again. 
I made the decision to move back to Boise and start a job at another call center. I was sleeping on my Dad's best friends couch and trying to catch up. He was good enough to take me in while I saved for my own place. When Dillon's dad went on a 3 month long vacation, we were able to move in there. Still, not a place to call our own...
I had got in trouble for trying to shoplift some razor heads at Walmart. Stupid, I know. It was a mixture of bad judgement and pride. It wasn't a big deal, I did what I had to do, but it became an issue when I was finally caught up and I quit my current job to take an opportunity elsewhere...when they found out about my crime, the retracted their offer and I was left once again...jobless.
I had to go 2 months without working again, every interview was a rejection because of the petty theft so Dillon had to bear the weight of our finances for a little while. That was until I got an amazing job at Applebee's that I love so much!

Almost a year later, Dillon and I are just 2 months from our dream wedding, living in our own home, and sometimes I look around at all of our nice things and just smile. I fully understand that material possessions don't make people happy, or they shouldn't but I still cannot help but let that be a reflection of the ruts I pulled myself out of. Now I have a full attitude of gratitude when I would have otherwise taken these blessings for granted. I thank God for letting me struggle because then I wouldn't be thankful for all of the things we were able to get OURSELVES because of our hard work. I am now 100% dependent from my parents and I feel good knowing that I created my own success, rather than leaning on someone else's...

April Fools

April 1st, as a kid it was fun to do something horrifically mean and then say "April Fools!" to keep from getting in trouble. I remember as a kid, telling everyone that my mother was having another baby, was a great joke because she already had 5 and she needed to just stop, and now, not only does every other person fake an engagement, but a pregnancy...

Over the last two years- as I have personally noticed- it has become known that it is offensive to fake a pregnancy. So first of all, OH MY GOODNESS. Now, maybe I am a jerk but I am a firm believer that people in this world literally TRY to be offended by certain things.

I have a friend who had a miscarriage and based on this ridiculous ordeal, I asked her if she would be hurt or offended if I posted a status about being pregnant, which turned out to be a joke...

Since I am engaged, it would actually be believable and she said no.

Honestly, I am on the fence. I am caught between thinking it is a over used April Fools joke and people should calm down. It does NOT provoke mockery to women who cannot conceive, in fact, on the contrary, my best friend made an excellent point...it isn't like it's a common thing to post status' about having an abortion. 

"Had an abortion today...

APRIL FOOLS!"

I agree with her, that would be a mockery of pregnancy and fertility if someone openly said they got an abortion and willingly tainted a life that someone else could cherish...

You don't see me getting offended by people who pretended to be engaged because, well, I'm really engaged and I wouldn't want all the single people to feel low because someone chose to joke around.

Give me a break.

Oh, btw, I'm pregnant. 

50 Shades of Grey Review

Last night, I did the unthinkable, me and a couple good friends of mine saw 50 Shades of Grey. Prior to seeing the film, I was about 70% done with the book but in this case, I wasn't eager to finish it when the movie came out. I had been in a few debates about this movie based on other blogs, reviews, and opinions. I didn't want to say a whole lot before I actually saw the movie, but simply that it's all it was (hoping not to be proved wrong). Well, I can say with full confidence, I was not.
A lot of the opinions I heard were ignorant (oops). I heard people say it promotes "abusive relationships", that it is even directly related to sex trafficking, even going as far as saying that it's like stalking, and even rape...all arguments demonstrate pure ignorance.
I can also say that 100% of the people I talked to, had not read the book because they were just -if not more- opinionated about it when it was just a book. Which, is actually annoying to me. Based upon articles and here-say of those who still had not read the book, I saw several posts about how this book/movie are no good by people who had not actually read it.
The movie made it a point to show the relationship between Anastasia and Christian was totally and completely consensual. Christan Grey talked on some home life issues he had, being the foundation of why he found certain sexual activities arousing. Everyone has something in their past that dictated future actions.
Anastasia was an average English-Literature major in college, a virgin to things other than just sex and like a lot of girls -no matter how old they are- she felt an attraction and thus something within her desired him and desired to please him...(human nature?).
Married or unmarried, people cannot say they don't remember that one guy who you know you ought to, but could not stay away from. We are only human.
To say this movie will influence abusive relationships and it will do psychological damage, is I'm afraid, far from the truth. Sorry not sorry. The movie does a great job of showing that Christian  had a lifestyle to fit his needs and help him recover from his childhood but was not willing to verbalize it (HELLO! MEN!). Anastasia was different than Christan's previous relationships. He made compromises for her, even in the movie and book he says "it is you who is changing me". 
This is NO different than a man who has commitment issues-- this book took a known idea and just upped the ante a little bit to illustrate an actual issue in some people's ideas of a relationship, or the lack thereof. Aside from being a known and respected businessman, yes, he has a room with whips and hand cuffs, but within the contract that he has her sign (all about her CONSENT), there are signs of discomfort like yellow and red in which tells him that she wants certain activities to stop. Everything he did was to bring Ana into his world and see how she felt about it, due to having no prior experience and NOTHING is forced upon her.
The graphic content of the movie just shows the generation we live in and the time, something a lot of other people forget as well. If you're uncomfortable with nakedness in a movie, at this point I would not suggest seeing it. There are also a lot of other movies that have far more nudity than this movie...
Probably the most ridiculous argument I can think of about this entire nonsense is that by seeing this movie I "condone" what is going on and I "support abusive relationships", or even that this is going to change society as a whole..seriously? 
Let's look at The Hunger Games, I seriously doubt that this society is going to be divided up into districts and all the sudden we start killing each other. 

ALL I am trying to say, is if you disagree, that's fine. My total point, is that you can just choose not to watch it. Posting about how people shouldn't see it for their health? And to avoid heartbreak in the future? I feel like it's totally dramatic and blown out  of proportion. 
There's an uproar now but it's going to end and everyone is going to forget-- girls are not going to get into abusive relationships on purpose, guys aren't going to start "stalking" girls to gain their affection, and it is definitely not going to change society and how they view love.

This is documented, I will happily be proven wrong, and people can tell me "I told you so" if in fact this changes society.

Sitting in Disbelief

This blog post is somewhat of a journal entry, often times I want to post Facebook status' about what is on my mind but then I realize I shouldn't have to summarize, I want to let it all out.

Going back to elementary school, I was not one of the "popular" kids. I don't even remember what separated us into cliques being so young but I just remember sort of being an acquaintance of everyone. I liked playing kick ball and basketball but my actual friends were sort of the outcasts...
In all of that, certain groups of people would, "let" me hang out with them and play outdoor sports. It being so long ago, I cannot go into detail, however the one thing that stuck to me the most was being called ugly. I remember sitting at lunch and boys telling me I probably broke every mirror in my house. Even so, to this day, I don't like to rattle cages that need not be rattled, but it started to get to me. I went to talk to my teacher and I remember her telling me that when little boys call little girls ugly, it means they have a crush on them. Even as a 7 year-old in elementary school, this wasn't good enough but I was done talking to anyone else. I decided I was strong enough to face it on my own.
As puberty hit, I started seeing the early signs of acne. In fact, I wouldn't even credit puberty, as I remember being 8 years old and getting my first zit on my chin. As I reached age 10, I had patches of it on my cheeks and by the time I was 12, I had what looked like an infection across my entire face.

Elementary school ended, as did our residence in South East Boise and even with a different school, came the same struggles. Now, I've always been a firm believer in consistencies, such as when a person who continues to have the same issues with different people, it is probably the fault of the person. Adding to that, I cannot say what I did, because I do not know. My theory is that it was so easy to see that I was trying to hard to avoid rejection that it actually caused rejection.

The goal I had to wait for my first kiss, was changed after I got my first kiss as a 13 year-old and had my first boyfriend at age 15 but in between all of that, what started as thinking I'd never be good enough to even kiss, turned into selling myself short to make up for all the words that were said to me.

What's amazing to me is that I still remember what those boys said to me in the Trail Wind Elementary school, it just tells me that I will definitely not forget the things that were said to me in High School and even in college.

I'm happy to say that in 136 days I will be sprinting down the aisle in white to the love of my life. Something I never, ever thought would happen. I think back to my 11 year old mentality, that I'd be better off becoming a nun than raising my own hopes that someone could actually call me beautiful let alone marry me.

It's not easy to say to ignore what people say about you, so this goes out to those who don't think they should keep what they think to themselves. I am someone who can tell the actual effects of peoples' opinions of me. Whether it was how I looked or the choices I made. I believe it is too much to ask someone to just ignore what people say, but a lot easier to ask people to think about what they say. I doubt those little boys knew I'd remember their words to me as a 21 year old (literally 13 years later) but it effected me for so long and it lead to other choices.

Don't be a bully. NO matter how much you disagree, telling someone they're ugly may go with them for the rest of their lives and change the way they look at their own selves in the mirror.

God is Just

A controversial issue that will never cease to exist, is what has inspired this blog post today...
On Facebook there has been several shared photos and quotes about "religion", especially with Homosexuality becoming more accepted, "religion" is at the forefront of all blame associated with slander and things such as this...
Due to these posts, I decided to seek a good comeback for those who are too ignorant to realize that by blaming "religion", they are completely copping out and only choose to blame it because - well I actually don't know why - just because I guess. It led to a Pinterest search that actually just ended up making me mad. Not because the atheist quotes offended me, but because even though the context is true-- they're completely ignorant statements and a result of these people called Atheists who are completely uneducated on the subject of "religion" or God.
Not too long ago there was a suicide of a young teenage boy -whom considered himself a girl, I'm not worried about labeling it correctly by sexual orientation, but I read the Tumblr post prior to the suicide and it stated that she wanted her death to make a mark on the world because she was being tortured and she wanted the result to shake the world into accepting everyone for who they are.
This isn't about Leelah Alcorn, God rest her soul, I am horrified that it came to her ending her own life and her parents are a whole new story. My point is that "religion" or God is NOT TO BLAME, though that's what has been going on. 

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else. For at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.

Romans 2:1

God TELLS us in His word to not judge. As I was growing up, in High School, I was known as a good Christian girl and as soon as I messed up, I was a "hypocrite" or "Jesus doesn't work". What all the ignorant opinionated people didn't realize is that I'm actually human and it wasn't that Jesus doesn't work, it's that I was disobedient.

God also tells us to LOVE one another, yet when those who don't believe talk badly about God or "religion", they make Him out to be a horrible person which is just another example of ignorance. 

And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
Matthew 22:39

As I read posts that slander "religion" or God and blame them for people choosing to end their own lives, world hunger, death without reason, miscarriages, and all other hardship. God is not to blame! Atheists and those who choose not to label themselves will go around blaming God for all of these things, but what you don't realize is that God doesn't effect free will. It all started with the garden of Eden. He put the forbidden fruit in the garden so that Adam and Eve had a choice to love Him or sin against Him. If the forbidden fruit wasn't there, then - as Atheists would put it - God forced them to love Him. Which, by the way, was an Atheist quote that was ignorant as well. God doesn't force anyone to love Him. If that was the case, the world would be an entirely different place. A Being as great as God has the ability to take out all things not of Him and He could, but what good is Love that is forced? Those who truly love Him, choose it. 

There is plenty of food in this world, I work at a restaurant, do you know how many FULL SIZED PLATES we throw away because it came out wrong and the person didn't want to eat it? Do you know how many buffets with POUNDS of food left over just throw them away? You're right, God needs to be blamed for world hunger...

Listen, people! I am not trying to say that Christians don't have their own issues. They get the Love mixed up. There are some self-righteous jerks out there who claim to be Christians, I get that! However. Just like Christians don't have the right to judge, slander, or ridicule homosexuals, prostitutes, transgender, drug addicts, alcoholics, thieves, etc. Atheists or anyone else, don't have the right to slander Christians because of the followers who think they can judge. God has judgement in store for them, too. His word doesn't say, My people won't be judged for judging others, He says everyone will be judged for judging others. They literally bring judgement UPON THEMSELVES. So, while you're bashing "religion" and blaming it for suicides of transgender teens, stop and think about how hypocritical that is to slander a slanderer.

There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One who is able to save and destroy. But you- who are you to judge your neighbor?

James 4:12

There's one more thing, God is a King. He is above all else, another misconception. Whenever Atheists try to say "why can God do this and I can't" (sarcastically, of course). I can answer right now, He is God! He is ABOVE YOU (literally and figuratively). You're not allowed to judge because there is one Judge. Whether you actually believe in God or not, actually isn't relevant here. If you want to hate on God and assume He isn't real. From your perspective, I'm talking about a "religion". The way Christianity works, as a "religion" -in Atheists eyes, rather than what it really is- we believe that God is the King. He can do whatever he wants. That's why you don't get to decide why the world is going hungry, that is why He can judge and we can't...

Understand this, God's word doesn't exclude anyone, including his followers. I was in church for most of my life, the Pastor never said that everyone will be judged except Christians, we will ALL BE JUDGED. 

I end on this...

God is just: He will pay back those who trouble you.

2 Thessalonians 1:6

No stipulations on who He is talking about...EVERYONE will be judged. No karma, God, the ultimate judge will make sure all things are held accountable for. Things that haven't been washed away by His blood. Don't worry about the people who caused Leelah or anyone else's suicide. God will make sure there is justice for those who bring pain upon his Children...and that IS everybody.

Thanks for reading.

Tipping!

I have been a server now for about 6 months and I love it! As I was growing up, tipping wasn't a subject. Not that my parents meant to leave it out, but I don't remember ever being taught to tip. I remember being a little kid and seeing money left on a dirty table and wondering why someone would leave their money...even after that, I never really witnessed my parents tip. For that reason, I almost NEVER did as I started paying for things myself. For this, I feel a particular type of 'karma' is headed my way...
Even as I became a server half a year ago, I didn't expect a lot of tips, I continued to think it was a bonus and since I had gone two months without working, anything was more than I was making then. As time went by, I started to care more about it. I have a servant heart anyway and part of my pay is simply making people happy. However, I can't help but feel somewhat disgruntled if I am not rewarded for going above and beyond to make sure my guests' dining experience is amazing!
I can count on one hand on how many debates I've been in on the subject of tipping, mostly because I feel as though it's beating a dead horse but I cannot help but express how I feel about it.
Of course, my opinion is somewhat bias because I make my living on tips, but hear me out...

I am not quite sure how tipping came to be, I believe it was an offering of rich people or even a bribery...as time went by, in America, it became a certainty. The question is raised though, why should you tip? I'll tell you why!
When I greet a table, I the first thing I want to make is a good impression, followed by getting their drinks out in a timely manner. After that comes knowledge of the menu, recommendations, and making sure I give them enough time to read over the menu and decide what they want. All of this - mind you- while making sure I got another table's order in right, keeping glasses filled at another, dropping off someone else's check, and making sure another table's food came out the way they want. With all of these things on my mind, I have to maintain that the table I am currently at has 110% of my attention! (Not complaining, just trying to paint a somewhat vivid picture of the ten thousand things on a servers mind).
I cannot express how angry I get when people complain about the obligation to tip or say things like 'get a real job!' Do you want to know why?
Think about an amazing dining experience you had, whether it was at iHop, Olive Garden, or even one of the nicest restaurants you've ever been to...why was it a good experience? The food is most of it, but was your glass refilled? Were you offered another alcoholic drink? Did your server read non-verbal communication that you wanted the check? Did you enjoy the dish he/she recommended? Was the conversation good? Whether you like it or not, the service you received is at least 70% of your dining experience.
So let's flip this around...what if that server was already making $10-$12 an hour? Do you think they would give a darn what you did that day? Seriously, you had to ask for your refill? When you asked how something tasted they said "I don't know, but it looks cool"?
The motive is irrelevant, I know some really rude people who are servers and they still make a living because they could be faking it to get your money, but who cares? When you go out, that person is motivated to make you happy so they can feed their family, pay their rent, and make a living. Without that motivation, you would hate eating out! A lot of restaurants hire for good looks because the people working will want tips but think about any other jobs' interview process...if I was hiring a server who was about to make a lot of money an hour, the reason for hiring would be different. If the minimum wage for servers was extremely high and you weren't expected to tip, should you expect ANYONE who waits on you to go above and beyond? Or even do what you asked? The answer is no.
When I go into work and I do not want to be there, I better turn that frown upside down and paint a MASK on, or I'm not going to be able to pay bills. Could you imagine getting the bitter server who was having a bad day if they weren't working for your tip?
All I am asking, is if you're the kind of person who tells servers to stop complaining and get 'real jobs', just do me a favor and think about it from their perspective. I'd love to do some roll play so you know how it feels to have 10 demanding people, expecting the world from you, all to be under appreciated. Don't even get me started on those of you who have 2 toddlers who rip apart their broccoli, a 5 year old who throws their cup at me for a refill, leaving less than a 10% tip while I stay behind for 20 minutes cleaning up after your messy kids...

There are two sides to everything, though I am a server and depend on my tips, I cannot say that when I have a low tip or even a no tip, at times, I fell I deserved it. Dillon and I go out to eat all the time, in fact our most recent experience was at Goodwood, I left $5 for a $60 meal, which I sort of felt bad about, but, we barely saw our server. Her manager took our order, she didn't even introduce herself, and she never asked how the food was. I even left her a little note saying we would have loved to interract with her more. Why pay much beyond the food or drinks if that's literally all we got?
If you have a bad experience with a sever, then by all means, don't tip them, or leave less than 10% but don't rob someone else of a chance to pay their bills when they DID do amazing. When it comes down to it, your server helps you enjoy the meal you just purchased. The world would be a different place without you expecting amazing service knowing that their income depends on it.
When you go out to eat, a person can make all the difference, so let them know how they did...it's the least you can do.